Saturday, September 23, 2006

Cheating Signs: The Biggest Mistake People Make When Reading Them.

The dictionary defines cheating as “to deceive by trickery, or swindle.” It goes on to say that to cheat is to “act dishonestly, or violate rules deliberately.” In the terms of a relationship when the above definition of cheating is applied, the results of what is considered unacceptable contact with another person are very broad.

When a partner betrays the expectations of what is acceptable in the relationship you have to be mindful that the other will feel hurt, mislead, angry, deceived, or a host of other emotions. Their heart will have influence over how they feel, rather than logic, and rationalization. Thus, cheating is hard to define and depends on what you and your partner agree on what is appropriate, or inappropriate.

For example, some people feel it is improper to talk about sexual topics with someone else, deny being involved, develop a crush or commit emotional infidelity, and more recently, have an online affair. The list could be endless, but no matter what the act or how you define cheating, the result is always the same; the other will end up feeling rejected and abandoned.

Problems mainly arise because of a lack of communication. Many couples rarely talk about cheating, and when they do, it is usually not about what their expectations are, and what they feel is intolerable. That is when the room for error is allowed; you can’t break a rule you didn’t know existed - or can you? Some partners may very well try to use that to their advantage, which is why talking it out with your mate is critical. Open lines for communication will not only breed a healthy relationship, it will also allow you to avoid the pitfalls of not knowing what was out of bounds until after the line was crossed.

With that said, be sure that before you get caught up in the many signs of cheating, you realize that everyone is different and no one sign is a definite reflector of an unfaithful partner. Make sure you talk to your mate about the relationship boundaries of what you feel is or is not appropriate. This way you have a clear-cut view on how your partner feels, and can avoid false accusations that may lead to more mistrust.

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