Spying On Your Spouse... Is It Ethical?

I've been asked numerous times about spying on your partner and if it's the right thing to do. It all boils down to what is most important to you... Morals or the Truth. In my last blog post about my personal story (You can read the story here.) I told you how I used PC monitoring software to catch my ex wife's unfaithful behavior. So obviously I'm a bit more concerned with the truth. Keeping in mind that you may be different I've written this small article for you to hopefully make your decision easier to make.

-Drew Bryant
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You see advertisements all the time for software that can record your spouse’s online conversations like "PC Pandora" . Or you hear about private investigators that can follow your partner for an extended period of time to catch them in the act. There are even TV shows that are dedicated to spying on your husband or wife. But exactly how ethical is it to monitor your partner? As a generalization, ethics are how you expect others to treat you and vice versa – compromising the expectations of privacy, trust, and honesty in a relationship is rarely the ethical thing to do.

Honesty is indeed the best policy, but questioning a mate that is acting suspiciously tends to not bring about the same results as snooping. Spying, if done correctly, is without doubt the most effective way to discover the unadulterated truth. This is where the problem presents itself; what is effective is unscrupulous, and what is ethical is fruitless. The question is how to best resolve this dilemma.

If you do opt to spy, and you actually discover that your other half is being unfaithful, your means of finding that information is not necessarily justified. But, that discovery does expose the truth and brings hidden problems to the light. It is nearly impossible to fix problems until they are acknowledged. Acknowledging problems is also the first step toward acceptance, healing, and in essence a resolution.

However, if you decide to spy and find nothing, you may find reassurance, but you have violated your partner’s trust which should not be taken for granted. You now have become the person with something to hide, and will have to be held accountable for your actions if the situation is ever brought to light.

In the end, there are no easy solutions. Most people want the truth, but the reality of the situation is that either knowing the truth, or your morals may have to be sacrificed.

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How Do You Feel About Spying On Your Partner? I'd like to know.
Why not leave a comment below?